


Getting Over Him

by babypieandwhiskey



Series: Drabbles [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, bottled up feelings, keeping secrets, unequivalent love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 14:43:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16874784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babypieandwhiskey/pseuds/babypieandwhiskey
Summary: Prompt: Dua Lipa - New Rules





	Getting Over Him

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Dua Lipa - New Rules

[](http://imgbox.com/mimRsg8z)  
*Image found on Google*

Getting Over Him

“Y/N, talk to me.” Dean pleaded.

All I could do was bury my face in my hand and let the tears fall.

“You can’t keep it bottled up. You have to talk to me.” Dean gently placed his hand on my knee.

I jerked back away from his touch as if he had burned me. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what, Y/N?!” The hurt seeping through in his voice made me recoil further into myself.

“Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like you actually care about me.” My voice cracked.

“I do-” Dean attempted to console me.

“NO! No, Dean! You think you do, but you don’t. At least not as much as you care about your work, or Sam, or Cas, or living up to the man you think you should be.” I snapped. Standing up and backing away from him. My heart trying to tell my brain to stop, trying to get the word vomit to stop, but it was too late.

“You’re wrong, Y/N. I do care about you.” Dean whimpered to the ground, too hurt to even look at me.

“How?! How could you?! I was here, needing you, more than I have ever needed anyone. And not only were you not here but when I reached out, you weren’t there for me either. Your brother literally told me that you didn’t want to talk to me and that I needed to figure it out on my own. How can you sit here now and tell me that you care?!” The words breaking my heart as well as his as they fell from my lips.

Dean stood up, slowly raised his gaze to meet mine and my heart broke into a million pieces. The pain I had inflicted visible on his face. “You don’t understand. I couldn’t - I wasn’t - I didn’t…”

I stepped closer, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “You know that talking thing…I kind of need you to talk to me too.”

Dean shook his head. There was so much to tell, so much he had kept hidden, he didn’t know where or how to begin.

I stepped forward again, reached my hand out to touch his bicep and paused remembering how I had reacted to his touch. I dropped my hand down to my side. “Dean, what is it? What is it that you are hiding from me?”

Dean smirked. He always did like how I was able to tell what was going on with him without him saying a word.

“Come here.” Dean opened his arms up and wrapped me in a firm embrace.

Dean made me feel like no one else ever had before. Loved, safe, beautiful, perfect. No matter how upset with him I got or how frustrated I got that he wouldn’t open up to me when I was close to him like this, it all just disappeared. Nothing else mattered as long as we had this.

In the back of my mind, I knew I’d kick myself later for letting him dodge the topic again and falling right back into his arms, but I couldn’t help it. He was my love, my drug, I couldn’t get enough. He was also my weakness, my kryptonite and that always came back to haunt me.

I loved Dean, and he loved me, or he thought he loved me, but deep down I knew the truth.

The next morning after Dean left and I was alone again because his brother needed him and work pulled him away, I wrote down a reminder to myself.

He doesn’t love you. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling ‘cause he’s drunk and alone. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning. And if you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.

I’m not getting over him and I know the next time the pattern will repeat, but maybe if I pound this into my head enough, I can change the pattern.


End file.
